How to Work Through Your Ambivalence: A Guide to Lifestyle Change
Ambivalence is the nemesis of commitment and the most common reason for staying in chronic contemplation (one of the first Stages of Change).
Ambivalence, it is the existence of simultaneously wanting and not wanting something, or wanting both of two conflicting things. It’s human nature.
The cadence of ambivalence looks like: “I want to lose weight, but…” or “I need to ___ but that means I won’t be able to… (eat what my family eats, relax at the end of the day the way I want to)”.
If you are thinking, “Yes, that is me!”, don’t worry.
Here are four ways to work through ambivalence:
Acknowledge that ambivalence is a normal and expected part of long term change.
Look at all the options for how to get to your desired goal, rather than one single course of action.
Identify barriers that might come up, along with possible solutions.
Explore the pros and cons of changing, competing priorities and conflicting values.
If you are feeling ambivalent about a change, you need to get in touch and stay connected with your strengths and core values and gain an increased sense of self-efficacy (“I believe I can do it”).
You need to prioritize what matters most to you. Motivation for change, embracing the process of change, and working through obstacles is stronger when it’s grounded in your own worldview and values.